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Dread it. Run from it. Live-action Moana arrives all the same. It is inevitable, and it will extinguish at least 50% of all box office life around it. Every single young girl in the known universe, and quite a few women who may, or may not, own cats will all be trooping off to movie theaters soon to ask one question.
Why has The Rock got no nipples?
While the world struggles with this defining question of our era, the rest of us will be forced to grudgingly admit that the original animated Moana from 2016 was a damn fine movie, and an example of Disney Animation operating at the absolute top of its game.
With about a month to go, Disney has now released what they say is the “final” trailer for the upcoming movie.
17-year-old Australian actress Catherine Laga’aia (The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart) takes on the title role alongside Dwayne Johnson, who reprises his role from the animated version as the demigod Maui.
Joining them are Frankie Adams (The Expanse) as Moana’s mother, Sina; John Tui (Battleship) as Moana’s father, Chief Tui; and New Zealand acting legend Rena Owen (Once Were Warriors) as Gramma Tala. I think I heard Germaine Clement in the trailer, too.
Just like in the original, Moana answers the ocean’s call and voyages beyond the reef of her island of Motunui with Maui on a dangerous journey to restore prosperity to her people.
Thomas Kail directs from a script by Jared Bush and Dana Ledoux Miller. Johnson, Dany Garcia, Hiram Garcia, and Beau Flynn produce the film and will become rich beyond the dream of avarice.
Moana is in theaters on July 10th.
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