Hot on the heels of Godzilla Minus One, which Shawn T rated 5/5, we have the first trailer for Godzilla Kisses Kong. This is the fifth installment of what is called the Monsterverse (give me strength) and the official synopisis is as follows:
“This latest entry follows up the explosive showdown of Godzilla vs. Kong with an all-new cinematic adventure, pitting the almighty Kong and the fearsome Godzilla against a colossal undiscovered threat hidden within our world, challenging their very existence – and our own. The epic new film will delve further into the histories of these Titans, their origins and the mysteries of Skull Island and beyond, while uncovering the mythic battle that helped forge these extraordinary beings and tied them to humankind forever.”
Something tells me this is going to be so far removed from Godzilla Minus One that it will be hard to comprehend these movies even feature the same character. If I were to compare the two based on Shawn T’s review, Godzilla Minus One is The Dark Knight of Monster movies whilst Godzilla Kisses Kong is Batman And Robin.
Godzilla is back and this time sporting a bright pink glow, you know, to attract the girls to the screen like moths to a flame. Kong now has a metal arm brace to go with his axe and we have a CGI baby Kong that looks like a bad motion capture using CGI graphics from 1990.
I’ve made no secret of my contempt for this “universe”, or even this type of movie that is just eye candy and no substance. To me, these movies are nothing more than a vast collection of incoherent 2-minute scenes that are designed to appeal to the TikTok generation. A generation of people who have the attention span of a goldfish. They are bright, loud, absolutely ridiculous, and look like a PS5 cut scene without the payoff of actually being able to continue the game after watching it.
This trailer should come with a warning:
Warning! Be advised to watch the trailer for Godzilla x Kong with someone close at hand. There is a high risk that watching this trailer will result in some kind of seizure and a significant reduction in IQ. We would recommend watching the trailer whilst wearing a bib to prevent uncontrolled dribbling down the front of your shirt. If you watch this trailer at work, you will likely find the urge to want to find the nearest window and start licking it. Enjoy.
I have nothing more to add. It’s Monday morning, and it’s pissing down with rain here in the UK. I have a busted shoulder and having to watch this trailer for this article has put me in a mood that I don’t think I’m going to be able to recover from today. See you in the comments section!
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