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As if you didn’t know, Galaxy’s Edge is a Star Wars-based theme park. Sadly, it’s also a Disney-based theme park, which meant all you got was the Sequel Trilogy characters.
Don’t get me wrong, if I did go there, I would have probably been thrown out for harassment of Rey Palpatine. The first part of the harassment would have been me calling her Palpy Spawn.
Don’t worry, I fully consented to that photo. That’s me posing with a plastic figure at Madame Tussauds in London. These days, I’ll take what I can get.
As we all know, Galaxy’s Edge has disappointed everyone involved. In fact, our very own Drunken Yoda visited and wasn’t blown away.
It’s more gift shops than rides, Disney have to make their money back somehow, what else are they going to resort to, making good movies?
The main issue with Galaxy’s Edge is that it had Chewy, but that was about it for the Star Wars characters. Everyone else who was there was from the Sequel Trilogy. Who wants to meet Klyo Ren? I guess it would be funny to try to get him to throw a baby tantrum.
Herb, Lisa and Lou
On Twitter this week, it was announced that some of the original characters were going to be added to the roster. Yay, Han, Leia and Luke, that’s what we want to see. Well, meet Herb, Lisa and Lou (Wrenage’s joke).
Someone said that Han looks more like Mal from Firefly (Hawk’s joke).
Never tell me the odds. Meet Han Solo, Captain of the Millennium Falcon, at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge in Disneyland Park starting April 29. pic.twitter.com/XQnKhckvVt
— Star Wars (@starwars) April 15, 2026
Yes, these are the ‘actors’ they went with for portraying the Original Trilogy characters. From what I’ve seen, the Reys actually look like Rey. I have no idea who these three characters are. Someone on Twitter said:
If you ever wondered what Star Wars looks like if recasted with Gen Z: pansexual kids doped up on Zoloft wanting desperately to swap gender clothes.
I don’t know about you, but these characters still give me no desire to go to Galaxy’s Edge. In fact, I would rather go to a dentist who had to work on my back teeth, by going in rectally.
Back to Madame Tussauds, this is what people wanted: the original cantina, and a photo with Han and Chewy, it’s not difficult.
Or how about recreating Jabba’s Palace and being Leia for the afternoon.
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