Review: SNOW WHITE

It’s always me, isn’t it? Mrs Boba Phil wanted to go and see Snow White and she didn’t want to go on her own.

I had to go. I mean, it was our anniversary and all. Anyways, I got her to buy the tickets and we snuck in.

My expectations low, really low, so low they were last seen by that sub that went to see the Titanic. I was hoping the ‘sub’ I was in was going to implode and I wouldn’t have to see the movie, but I did.

You know the details, Snow White stars Rachel Zegler, etc. etc.

The Story

I haven’t seen the original in years, but I remember the story. Snow’s mum dies and Dad gets married to the evil queen. If she’s called the Evil Queen, why would you marry her?

Was she just known as Miss Evil beforehand?

The evil queen tries to kill Snow, via a huntsman. Snow ends up escaping and living with seven guys. Dirty guys. She gets poisoned, died and kissed back to life.

In the new one, things are a little different. Most of the story happens, but it’s not the dwarves that kill the Queen, it’s Snow and her merry band of alternative people.

Yes, they have changed it a bit, but I found this more engaging than the original, as I remember it. It’s a little more in-depth and the characters go through more of an arc.

Adding the seven-bandit people made more sense than just having the dwarves. This was the image that was going around the internet and we all thought was woke.

It isn’t woke, it just seven differently ethnic people, from different backgrounds, working under Snow’s superior leadership.

The Cast

I will say this, but Zegler can sing…and act. I’m not saying I was in tears at the end, with her final speech, but it was impressive.

I know she’s not done well with the press and in real life, but when she’s given a good script, she’s good. I doubt an Oscar is on the way, but I was impressed at how mature she was in the role.

Gadot is just as good, she’s very convincing, a little overly dramatic, but does a good job. I really got my teeth into the ‘bad guy’ of the movie and couldn’t wait to get her comeuppance.

Also, I don’t know what it was, but when she was playing the old crone, I found her, umm, hot. I don’t know why, she just hit the spot for me.

The dwarves, even though are CG, are hilarious. I hate to admit it, but I belly laughed at a couple of times with them. I’m a sucker for slapstick comedy and it was just funny.

I thought that the cast of the seven bandits were only chosen because of their ethnic difference. Again, I have to say it, but they are all really good actors, there wasn’t a single bit of woke casting in Snow White. Man I honestly cannot believe I’m saying this.

Obviously, the original Snow White is a bright, fun animated classic. The colours are impressive, the songs are memorable and it’s just fun.

The tone of this live-action movie is more muted, it has to be. I’m a big fan of the saturated colours, like Snyder uses for example.

I think colours are over used in a lot of movies, so seeing something that didn’t hurt my eyes so much, was good.

A lot of people say the Evil Queen in the original is scary, but she’s not nothing on Gadot.

OK, I was a kid when I first saw the original Snow White, so the Queen was bound to be scary. However, Gadot’s portrayal is scary, but a more mature scary.

Her contempt for Snow feels real, it’s like Gadot cannot stand Zegler and that really came over.

I mean, we’ve seen the two of them stood never to each other in press conferences, but the look that Gadot gives Zegler, at certain times, is just how the Queen feels about Snow, she’s jealous of her beauty. Let’s be honest here, in Zegler is way hotter than Gadot.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Snow White was great.

The more I think about it, the better it becomes. There are interesting and complex characters, the songs are better than the original and the movie is a really, really, really good live action remake.

In fact, I have to say it’s one of the best live action remakes I’ve seen in a while.

It’s the little things as well, for example, they have changed the story, so there is no ‘rape’ at the end now, it’s much more muted and consensual.

I always felt uneasy seeing the Prince kiss the corpse of the dead Snow White, as it was a little weird.

This new Snow White shows it’s OK to go around and give a dead girl a little kiss, but not a French Kiss like he did in the original. A mild peck of a kiss with a dead girl is perfectly fine.

I’ve seen a lot of crappy movies this year, but Snow White was one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

It might even end up in my top five of the year, maybe of all time. I can honestly say, with my hand my heart, in all honesty and truth, the live action remake of Snow White is the best movie I have seen in a while.

Snow White is a full 5 star movie, scrub that, I’m giving the movie 10 stars, probably our first 10 star movie so far!

What a great way to start April!.