By 
Yes, yes, it’s better to give than to receive, but in these few, special cases, receiving wins out. That’s because the below are a different class of givers – they’re fictional for a start, some of them have magical powers, and at least one of them is a bear.
These are the movie or TV characters we hope would pick our names out of the hat in the annual Secret Santa draw because we imagine that their choice of gift would suit us down to the ground. Maybe they’re extra thoughtful, or extra loaded, or extra in tune with our personal take on the world. Either way, they’re our picks. Let us know who you’d nominate below.
Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation
Because I’m an asshole, my initial thought here was to simply identify the richest fictional character I could find and then request them as my Secret Santa. But not only does that betray the spirit of Christmas (and most Secret Santa gift exchanges’ strict spending limit), it’s also hard to see the likes of Bruce Wayne or Scrooge McDuck giving a stranger $1 billion. So instead, I retreated to the same place I often do: the warming glow of TV sitcoms. Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) of Parks and Recreation would be my ideal Secret Santa. The Pawnee, Indiana parks director is generous, thoughtful, and has an established history of finding the right gifts.
One of my favorite Parks and Rec moments follows the surly Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) as he spends his birthday dreading what kind of extravagant party Leslie will throw for him. Instead of balloons and a Mariachi band, however, Leslie gets Ron a rare steak, some choice Scotch, a DVD copy of The Bridge on the River Kwai, and a private room for him to enjoy some solitude. “Yeah I did that for Ann,” Leslie says of the big birthday bash Ron was expecting. “Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?” I would love to see what an Alec Bojalad gift from Leslie Knope would look like. Honestly probably pretty close to Ron Swanson’s. – Alec Bojalad
Chandler and Joey from Friends
I am notoriously Grinch-like when it comes to Christmas – I do not enjoy it, find it stressful and any way to minimise fuss is a win for me. Sorry, not sorry. So I don’t want someone thoughtful and brilliant at gift-giving to get me, it’s just going to lead to guilt and anxiety and I wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead I would like Chandler and Joey from Friends to pick me, and for them to have to shop when they have absolutely zero time. I am of course referring to the episode of the show when they go with Phoebe to potentially meet her Dad. It’s a big deal to her, she needs the support and they are good pals and wait with her. This means they don’t really have time to shop for the gang so have to purchase gifts from a gas station. Phoebe gets loo seat covers, Rachel gets windscreen wiper blades and new car smell, Monica gets condoms and Ross gets two cans of fizzy drink. “I feel like I should get you another sweater,” says Ross. Shut up Ross. Add to the fact that Joey is almost always skint, while Ross and Chandler (and sometimes Monica) have cash, and I just feel like something cheap, crap and funny from a petrol station, so that they can give the far great gift of being there for a mate, is the Christmas spirit I can get on board with. – Rosie Fletcher
Paddington Bear
Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man? Who’s the cat that won’t cop out when there’s danger all about? Not Shaft. Well, yes Shaft, but also Paddington Bear. Can you dig it?
Paddington Bear literally goes to prison in pursuit of the perfect gift: the “popping book” of London sights he saves up to buy for his Aunt Lucy’s 100th birthday before he’s cruelly framed for its theft in Paddington 2 (the Nic Cage and Pedro Pascal-approved greatest movie ever). Who would take the task of Secret Santa-ing more seriously than him? Given a tenner by Mrs Brown to go out and get me something delightful, you just know that Paddington would come up trumps. A gift from him would be thoughtful, quirky, and quite possibly teach me a valuable lesson about opening your heart to strangers and being kind – exactly the kind of reminder I need around Christmastime, when I’m usually fantasising about pushing dawdling walkers into traffic and Googling ‘How to Get Yourself Sectioned’ just for the promise of some alone time. – Louisa Mellor
Batman from Batman
Okay, I know what you’re thinking. “Is there anyone less jolly, less suited to gift-giving that Batman?” The answer is “YES!” For all of his brooding and grouchiness, Batman is a big softy at heart, which is partly why he keeps getting put in the middle of Christmas stories. Heck, I wrote a whole article about it last year.
Bruce Wayne’s inner child still lives within Batman and wants nothing more than to make sure others have the happiness denied to him. So even if Batman sneers under that cowl, his detective mind will be working to determine the best possible gift. And because he’s super-rich, I know that he can afford it. It might even come with a cool Bat-logo slapped on the side, because who’s better at marketing than the Dark Knight? – Joe George
Caleb Widogast from Critical Role
When we first meet Caleb Widogast (Liam O’Brien) in the Mighty Nein campaign of Critical Role, he is somewhat selfish, keeping to himself and stuck in survival mode after escaping his abusive mentor Trent Ikathon. It takes a lot for him to open up to his teammates and let them in. However, later on in the campaign we see that despite his rough, jaded exterior, he really does care for the rest of the Mighty Nein. In Dungeons & Dragons there is a spell called Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion that allows the caster to conjure a dwelling of their own design within a pocket dimension for 24 hours. When Caleb uses this spell for the first time to give his friends a place to rest and recover from their adventures, it’s clear that he has spent time getting to know his companions. Caleb goes on to describe in great detail how each of his friend’s rooms in this space were crafted specifically with their needs and interests in mind, which is something you definitely want from a Secret Santa. A great Secret Santa is the kind of person who notices that a specific flower reminds you of home or that the smell of fresh baked cookies brings you comfort, even if it’s someone you wouldn’t expect to have remembered those things. He may not always show his love in conventional ways, but Caleb is clearly the kind of friend who listens and pays attention, and most importantly cares. His gift may not necessarily be something you would expect, but you know that it comes from the heart. – Brynna Arens
Galadriel from The Fellowship of the Ring
Now there’s a hostess. Galadriel didn’t get any prior notice that a party of nine were dropping in on her woodland realm of Lothlórien, and yet each of them went away fed, watered, rested and with a very snazzy souvenir. Fancy daggers for Merry and Pippin, some magic rope for Samwise, a little bottle of what looks like Revlon’s classic 1990s scent Fire and Ice for Frodo, but which actually turns out to be the light of a literal star… Add to that the cloaks, brooches and lembas bread. Galadriel has her shit together. Imagine how that elf would handle being somebody’s Secret Santa. She’d probably give me the one ring to rule them all, which, at Christmastime, would come in extremely handy – invisibility for shoplifting the last bag of Parsnips from Tesco and popping out to the shed for a drop of Baileys and a breather. Lush.
Jack Donagy from 30 Rock
I know what you’re thinking: here is another person picking a rich sugar daddy to spread some of that holiday sugar. And well… yeah! That’s part of it anyway! Okay, so Jack Donagy is another unbelievably charitable and affluent fictional character who spent seven years worrying about the professional, personal, and mental health of an employee like Liz Lemon—all while wearing the hell out of his Brooks Brothers suits and gravely baritone.
But it is also 30 Rock canon that he is the ultimate Secret Santa gift-giver. As relayed by his blindly loyal disciple/executive assistant, Jonathan, “Mr. Donagy is the best gift-giver in the world. I tried once. I bought him a $95 bottle of olive oil. In return, he got my sister out of a North Korean jail! You’ll never match him!” No, I won’t. But I’ll take whatever expensive flight of fancy he wants to share. You know… because of the season. – David Crow
The post Which Fictional Character Would You Want as Your Secret Santa? appeared first on Den of Geek.
