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Movie titles don’t often describe what the movie is about, but transmit a feeling or vibe. In Fast and Furious, the title doesn’t immediately translate to illegal racing, but it does transmit the sense of velocity and wild natured rebels that the movie intends. At least if you take that name literally, it can be about wild cats hunting.
Other movie titles, taken literally, are about things that we wouldn’t really want to watch. This is not just an exercise in silly thinking, but it’s also for us to not judge a movie by its title alone; the rest of the promotional material is there for a reason. These are what the plots of these movies would be, should we take the titles literally.
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Mission: Impossible
Taken literally, this is the shortest movie ever made. Someone announces the mission is impossible, everyone nods in agreement, and the team heads home instead of spending two hours hanging from airplanes.
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The Silence of the Lambs
Viewed literally, the title promises a documentary about unusually quiet farm animals. Audiences expecting suspense instead get several minutes of sheep standing around not making any noise.
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The Rock
It’s a rock. Not a prison, not an action movie, just a large geological formation sitting completely still. The most exciting scene would probably involve mild erosion.
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Fifty Shades of Grey
A film entirely devoted to comparing paint samples at a hardware store. The central conflict revolves around whether one shade of grey is slightly darker than another.
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Meet Joe Black
A title that suggests a brief social introduction. You meet Joe, shake his hand, exchange pleasantries, learn where he works, and then everybody goes home.
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Silent Hill
A movie about a hill that doesn’t make much noise. For two hours, viewers watch a completely normal hillside quietly existing without causing any disturbance whatsoever.
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Rush Hour
Instead of a high-energy buddy-cop adventure, it’s ninety minutes of people stuck in traffic. The climax is finally getting through a particularly annoying intersection.
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The Men Who Stare at Goats
The title already sounds like a joke, but taken literally, it becomes exactly what it says. Several men gather in a field and spend the afternoon looking at goats.
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Gone in 60 Seconds
A remarkably short film. The opening credits finish, something disappears, and the movie immediately ends before anyone has time to become emotionally invested.
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Law Abiding Citizen
Based solely on the title, this sounds like a man who follows all applicable regulations. He files his taxes correctly, obeys speed limits, and recycles responsibly.
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The Green Mile
An entire movie about measuring a mile-long stretch of green-colored pavement. Surveyors arrive, confirm that it is indeed green and roughly a mile long, then leave.
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Milk
A feature-length exploration of a dairy product. It begins in a refrigerator, occasionally gets poured into a glass, and offers absolutely no dramatic tension.
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A Quiet Place
A family finds a reasonably peaceful location and enjoys the silence. There are no monsters, no danger, and no reason for anyone to whisper dramatically.
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Ordinary People
Hollywood usually promises larger-than-life characters. This title promises the exact opposite. The plot consists of average individuals having uneventful days and discussing routine household concerns.
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Waiting…
A movie entirely dedicated to waiting. Nobody arrives, nothing happens, and every major plot development is delayed until a sequel that never gets made.
The post The 15 Most Boring Movie Titles Ever, if Taken Literally appeared first on Den of Geek.
