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Picking a celebrity to fight is normally the sort of hypothetical question that requires absolutely no financial planning. Add one important rule, though, and suddenly it becomes an investment strategy: if you win, you get every dollar they have. The obvious move would be choosing the richest person possible, but that only works if you can actually beat them. That sent people searching for the perfect combination of enormous fortune and manageable opponent, while others immediately abandoned the money part and picked celebrities they apparently just really wanted an excuse to challenge. From billionaire tech founders to entertainers approaching their 90s, the answers got increasingly strategic, questionable, and funny. Here are 15 people sharing which celebrity they’d fight, if winning meant taking all their money.
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Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande inspired one of the most straightforward strategies in the discussion. There was apparently nothing personal behind the choice, just complete confidence that she would be beatable in a fight.
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Yoko Ono
One person immediately improved on the Ariana Grande strategy by suggesting Yoko Ono instead. Their reasoning came down to the combination of her advanced age, small stature, and the considerable fortune potentially waiting on the other side of the match.
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Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift’s enormous wealth made her another tempting target, with one commenter confidently calculating that being an average-sized man gave him the advantage. Someone else pointed out the much greater danger might be dealing with Swifties afterward.
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J.K. Rowling
For some people, maximizing the payout wasn’t the only consideration. Rowling was among the choices where commenters seemed just as motivated by their feelings about the celebrity as whatever money they could potentially collect.
Rupert Murdoch
Rupert Murdoch was presented as almost suspiciously ideal for anyone treating this like a financial optimization problem. One commenter focused on the media mogul’s age and multibillion-dollar fortune when making their selection.
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Elon Musk
Musk might have been the thread’s ultimate combination of money and motivation. Multiple people selected him, and more than one insisted the enormous financial reward wasn’t even necessary for them to accept the hypothetical challenge.
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Warren Buffett
Buffett was another obvious choice for anyone doing a quick risk-versus-reward calculation. One commenter figured his age, massive fortune, and apparent lack of fighting experience made him a particularly attractive opponent.
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Judge Judy
Someone looked at Judge Judy’s age and estimated fortune and apparently saw an easy payday. Other commenters were far less confident, warning that she seemed tough enough to win the fight and possibly sue the challenger afterward for good measure.
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Bill Gates
Bill Gates inspired perhaps the thread’s most elaborate response after someone confidently decided the Microsoft co-founder couldn’t possibly be that tough. Another commenter responded with an entire fictional scenario imagining Gates secretly being a terrifying, practically supernatural fighter.
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William Shatner
William Shatner made the list with remarkably little explanation required. At his age, the commenter apparently felt confident enough to simply announce the matchup and leave everyone else to understand the strategy.
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Jared Leto
The person who picked Jared Leto didn’t bother pretending this was a carefully calculated financial decision. A reply turned the choice into a “Fight Club” reference, joking that sometimes you simply want to destroy something beautiful.
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Woody Allen
Not everybody was determined to walk away with billionaire-level money. One person simply selected Woody Allen and explained the modest financial ambition behind the decision with two words: “not greedy”.
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Oprah Winfrey
Oprah’s fortune made her an obvious candidate, but at least one commenter questioned whether this would actually be an easy victory. Their concern was that she might turn out to be surprisingly vicious once the hypothetical fight started.
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Mark Zuckerberg
Choosing Zuckerberg sounds financially brilliant until you remember he actually trains in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. After someone nominated him anyway, another commenter warned that the plan could end with the challenger losing the fight and remaining just as poor as before.
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Steven Spielberg
Spielberg might be the purest example of treating the question like a business proposition. One commenter looked at his multibillion-dollar fortune, considered their chances, and essentially concluded: yeah, I could probably take him.
The post 15 People Share Which Celebrity They’d Fight, If Winning Meant Taking All Their Money appeared first on Den of Geek.
