By 
I’m going to start by saying, I’m not going to enjoy the review of The North. We were sent the trailer a while ago, and it looked interesting. The downside was, I just didn’t get the time to watch or review it.
The agency that sent over the trailer bugged me a few times to watch it, and I felt bad, so I watched it this weekend. The reason I wasn’t looking forward to the review is that I’m sure the producers are most likely to read this.
At the Last Movie Outpost, we said we would never shill, and I stand by that; I’m never going to give a good review just because. It’ll always be honest.
The North
This brings me on to the review of The North. It’s an indie movie by Bert Schrijver; it starred, for the most part, just Bart Harder and Carles Pulido. The story is:
Two old friends are walking 600 kilometers through the Scottish highlands, to reconnect with each other, nature and parts of themselves they lost.
That story sounds a lot more interesting than the movie actually is. It’s hard to breakdown the story, because there’s nothing to breakdown. Two mates meet up and walk across Scotland. That’s it, that’s the movie.
In a more detailed plotline, it states:
The solitude and silence of the highlands forces them to confront harsh truths about themselves, their friendship, and what it truly means to stand still and listen.
I did not get any of this! The main issue being nothing happens, like at all.
The Moors
Having two people walk across the moors sounded interesting. I’ve been walking many a time, and it’s usually full of conversation, chats, small talk, anything. In The North, I would say there’s about 80% of the two main actors walking, but barely anything is said between them!
At first, I thought it was an artistic statement. The views of the movie are stunning, the landscape is endless, beautiful and looks sumptuous on the screen. However, after an hour of the two guys walking in silence, it was starting to get infuriating. There are conversations, but they are incredibly limited. A few of the conversations are between Chris and his business, over the phone.
At no point did I get any camaraderie, closeness or even a basic friendship between Chris and Lluis (the main characters).
What’s the Point?
The plotline said they are trying to rekindle their friendship. I know what it’s like to try and catch up with old friends; sometimes the silence is louder than the chat. The two main actors are good in their roles, but they just have nothing to say. There’s no character building; there is just no point.
I know, there’s no real point to any movie. At the end of the day, though, you can watch an action movie and be entertained, right? Well, not in The North you can’t. I had zero interest in the two characters; I had no idea why they were walking across the moor. It turns out one of them has cancer, but it’s lightly dropped in a conversation about an hour in. Sadly, by this time, I had no interest if one of them was a flying vampire from outer space.
While watching The North, I kept thinking of Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, where he has a rant at John Candy about having a point. The North just had no point to any of the ‘story’. I use the term very loosely.
The Technical North
I had read that the cast and crew hiked around 300 kilometres through the Scottish Highlands to make the movie. I felt sorry for those people; all that way, without a script to hold it all together.
As I said, some of the photography is stunning, but then, going to the Scottish Highlands, a blind man with a piece of crayon could still make it look stunning. The problem I found is that I couldn’t look at the highlands for 2 hours without any story to follow.
One of my favourite movies is Sarsara, which has zero storyline or plot, but you follow a sequence of beautiful photography that still ‘tells a story’. The North is impressive, in places, but following these two unbearably boring characters, I was amazed I made it to the end.
You can make a movie with just about two people, and it holds your interest. I watched Passengers again recently, with Chris Pratt and Jenifer Lawernce. There’s a complete story arc with them both, with highs and lows, and you’re invested.
Back to The North, it was odd that they met one guy, in a lonely cabin, who talked about why he was hiking. He’s raising money for cancer research. This character, in the movie, for about 5 minutes, had a more interesting story than the two main characters over 2 hours!
The Cast
There is another issue with the movie, which was the cast. This movie is called The North, so you know what I expected: people from the North. Instead, Harder is Dutch, and when on the phone, talks in Dutch.
I looked up Pulido, and I couldn’t find where he was from, but it wasn’t the North. I’ve obviously got nothing against foreigners or foreign movies. However, if you’re making a movie about the Scottish Highlands, maybe have Scottish actors, at the very least, people doing a Scot’s accent.
Overall
I’m always going to give any movie a chance, Hollywood or indie, they all get a fair crack from me. I will always try to give indie movies the benefit of the doubt and go in with an open mind. Now and then, I’m pleasantly surprised.
The North’s pace was so slow, it was a snail’s pace. The problem was, when the meat of the ‘story’ kicks in, I had checked out. I don’t mind a slow-paced movie, as long as there is a point at the end of it. I didn’t see the point of The North at all. It was 2 hours of men walking over the moors. Where is a werewolf when you need one?
The filming of the movie ranged from beautiful to ‘we did that in one take’. The visuals are stunning, but they get very boring, very quickly.
With a decent script, you could have had two men reconnect, discuss life, love and the pursuit of happiness. The conversations between Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield are a classic example. Two hit men talking about putting mayo on French fries was infinitely more creative than 2 hours of The North.
If the producer does read this, I am sorry, but this movie didn’t work for me on any level. It gets half a star, as the acting is good, some of the scenery is nice, but that’s it. I could never sit through it again.
The North is in selected UK cinemas on the 24th of April.
The post Indie Review: THE NORTH appeared first on Last Movie Outpost.
