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While the rest of the world was sleeping soundly, that wretched hive of scum and villainy that is Los Angeles was firing the starting gun on the annual circle jerk that is awards season.
Heads shall be patted. Backs will be slapped. Hollywood will say all sorts of nice words to itself to make it feel all special, a bit like a single woman with many cats.
The Golden Globes have been held. The Oscar’s unruly little brother.
The Beverly Hilton was filled with the great and the good, masturbating like safari park chimps over how fantastic they all are.
One Battle After Another carried the night. Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest grabbed four awards, including Best Picture – Musical/Comedy and Best Director.
Sinners grabbed an Achievement Award, alongside Best Soundtrack.
Hotly tipped titles like F1, Jay Kelly, Frankenstein and Weapons got nothing.
The Pitt continued to snag TV awards, and UK TV talking point Adolescence got a supporting win in the Golden Globes television categories.
The awards list is way too long to format, so it’s copy pasta time direct from the Golden Globes website.
Best Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: Hamnet
Frankenstein
It Was Just An Accident
The Secret Agent
Sentimental Value
Sinners
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: One Battle After Another
Blue Moon
Bugonia
Marty Supreme
No Other Choice
Nouvelle Vague
Best Motion Picture – Animated
WINNER: KPop Demon Hunters
Arco
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba – The Movie: Infinity Castle
Elio
Little Amélie or The Character of Rain
Zootopia 2
Cinematic and Box Office Achievement
WINNER: Sinners
Avatar: Fire and Ash
F1: The Movie
Kpop Demon Hunters
Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning
Weapons
Wicked: For Good
Zootopia 2
Best Motion Picture – Non-English Language
WINNER: The Secret Agent, Brazil
It Was Just an Accident, France
No Other Choice, South Korea
Sentimental Value, Norway
Sirāt, Spain
The Voice Of Hind Rajab, Tunisia
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: Jessie Buckley, Hamnet
Jennifer Lawrence, Die My Love
Renate Reinsve, Sentimental Value
Julia Roberts, After the Hunt
Tessa Thompson, Hedda
Eva Victory, Sorry, Baby
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: Wager Moura, The Secret Agent
Joel Edgerton, Train Dreams
Oscar Isaac, Frankenstein
Dwayne Johnson, The Smashing Machine
Michael B. Jordan, Sinners
Jeremy Allen White, Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Rose Byrne, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
Cynthia Erivo, Wicked: For Good
Kate Hudson, Song Sung Blue
Chase Infiniti, One Battle After Another
Amanda Seyfried, The Testament of Ann Lee
Emma Stone, Bugonia
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Timothée Chalamet, Marty Supreme
George Clooney, Jay Kelly
Leonardo DiCaprio, One Battle After Another
Ethan Hawke, Blue Moon
Lee Byung Hun, No Other Choice
Jesse Plemons, Bugonia
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture
WINNER: Teyana Taylor, One Battle After Another
Emily Blunt, The Smashing Machine
Elle Fanning, Sentimental Value
Ariana Grande, Wicked: For Good
Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas, Sentimental Value
Amy Madigan, Weapons
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture
WINNER: Stellan Skarsgård, Sentimental Value
Benicio Del Toro, One Battle After Another
Jacob Elordi, Frankenstein
Paul Mescal, Hamnet
Sean Penn, One Battle After Another
Adam Sandler, Jay Kelly
Best Director – Motion Picture
WINNER: Paul Thomas Anderson, One Battle After Another
Ryan Coogler, Sinners
Guillermo del Toro, Frankenstein
Jafar Panahi, It Was Just An Accident
Joachim Trier, Sentimental Value
Chloé Zhao, Hamnet
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
WINNER: Paul Thomas Anderson, One Battle After Another
Josh Safdie & Ronald Bronstein, Marty Supreme
Ryan Coogler, Sinners
Chloé Zhao & Maggie O’Farrell, Hamnet
Jafar Panahi, It Was Just an Accident
Joachim Trier & Eskil Vogt, Sentimental Value
Best Original Score – Motion Picture
WINNER: Ludwig Göransson, Sinners
Alexandre Desplat, Frankenstein
Jonny Greenwood, One Battle After Another
Max Richter, Hamnet
Hans Zimmer, F1: The Movie
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
WINNER: “Golden,” KPop Demon Hunters
“Dream as One,” Avatar: Fire and Ash
“I Lied to You,” Sinners
“No Place Like Home,” Wicked: For Good
“The Girl in the Bubble,” Wicked: For Good
“Train Dreams,” Train Dreams
Best Television Series – Drama
WINNER: The Pitt, HBO Max
The Diplomat, Netflix
Pluribus, Apple TV
Severance, Apple TV
Slow Horses, Apple TV
The White Lotus, HBO
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: The Studio, Apple TV
Abbott Elementary, ABC
The Bear, FX
Hacks, HBO Max
Nobody Wants This, Netflix
Only Murders in the Building, Hulu
Best Television Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made For Television
WINNER: Adolescence
All Her Fault
The Beast in Me
Black Mirror
Dying for Sex
The Girlfriend
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Series – Drama
WINNER: Rhea Seehorn, Pluribus
Kathy Bates, Matlock
Britt Lower, Severance
Helen Mirren, Mobland
Bella Ramsey, The Last of Us
Keri Russell, The Diplomat
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Series – Drama
WINNER: Noah Wyle, The Pitt
Sterling K. Brown, Paradise
Diego Luna, Andor
Gary Oldman, Slow Horses
Mark Ruffalo, Task
Adam Scott, Severance
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Jean Smart, Hacks
Kristen Bell, Nobody Wants This
Ayo Edebiri, The Bear
Selena Gomez, Only Murders in the Building
Natasha Lyonne, Poker Face
Jenna Ortega, Wednesday
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Seth Rogen, The Studio
Adam Brody, Nobody Wants This
Steve Martin, Only Murders in the Building
Glen Powell, Chad Powers
Martin Short, Only Murders in the Building
Jeremy Allen White, The Bear
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Michelle Williams, Dying for Sex
Claire Danes, The Beast in Me
Rashida Jones, Black Mirror
Amanda Seyfried, Long Bright River
Sarah Snook, All Her Fault
Robin Wright, The Girlfriend
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Stephen Graham, Adolescence
Jacob Elordi, The Narrow Road to the Deep North
Paul Giamatti, Black Mirror
Charlie Hunnam, Monster: The Ed Gein Story
Jude Law, Black Rabbit
Matthew Rhys, The Beast in Me
Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role on Television
WINNER: Erin Doherty, Adolescence
Carrie Coon, The White Lotus
Hannah Einbinder, Hacks
Catherine O’Hara, The Studio
Parker Posey, The White Lotus
Aimee Lou Wood, The White Lotus
Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role on Television
WINNER: Owen Cooper, Adolescence
Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
Walton Goggins, The White Lotus
Jason Isaacs, The White Lotus
Tramell Tillman, Severance
Ashley Walters, Adolescence
Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy on Television
WINNER: Ricky Gervais, Mortality
Brett Goldstein, The Second Best Night of Your Life
Bill Maher, Is Anyone Else Seeing This?
Kumail Nanjiani, Night Thoughts
Sarah Silverman, PostMortem
Kevin Hart, Acting My Age
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