Do you know who’s awesome? You guys, our regular Last Movie Outpost readers. We love you even more when you send in articles, because it means we don’t have to. We have a review of Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice from a regular contributor, Poopy Pants. Take it away sir…

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

A few years back there was an internet hoax and I fell for it. If I think hard enough it might have been on Aint It Cool. If I think too hard, it was a template for a new Kickstarter scam.

A few short years later and we legit have a new Beetlejuice sequel movie. It’s been pretty surreal for me, watching all the marketing, seeing Michael Keaton back like fine wine, aging beautifully, weird and funky.

He even showed up in character on a YouTube channel – albeit a mock-up. It was still fun. I mean, Beetlejuice was a pretty obscure film and after 36 years it could well have been remade 3 times by now. Jesus if this was a sequel in 1988 the original would have been made in 1952.

I was 11 back when the first one came out and it helped me through a somewhat troubled 1988. I know the movie well, I felt no need to even re-visit it before watching the Beetlejuice sequel. Listening to the soundtrack again which was a treasured album from my youth. It was still a great listen and I was looking forward to Elfman’s return.

Not all sequels are created equal. There’s the shameful rehash; Terminator (yes even 2 is guilty of this), Final Destination, Jaws. There’s the whole new adventure that stands on its own without the need to see the previous; Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Star Trek, and Aliens.

And then there are the sequels that are elevated by their predecessor and serve it well in building a larger world; The Empire Strikes Back, Terminator 2 (shut up it falls under this as well). Then there’s the Blues Brothers 2000, The strange beast that was always a singular story that ended the adventure with everything tied up nicely.

But were always under some strange pressure to go at it again, even after cast members and fans of the original, were now dead and replacements are somehow supposed to fool both new and old audiences into thinking we’re watching the original again and supposed to be experiencing the electricity in the air all over again, but really it’s all a bit messy and pointless.

So…How Was It?

You know when you’ve watched a movie at the cinema and you’re returning back to reality and you feel a little buzzed – like you’ve just been to a party of sorts. You had a good time and you’ll be thinking about it the next day or two.

I did not and do not have that feeling. You’re probably thinking “get to the fucking point” and that’s the problem. There is no fucking point. This movie is a mess. It’s a whole bunch of ideas, some of them really good, some even funny, but that’s all they are, good ideas and funny ideas. The movie itself is all over the place and can’t seem to figure out what it wants to be.

It’s Blues Brothers 2000

Don’t get me wrong, I mean I loathed Blues Brothers 2000. But I don’t loathe Beetlejuice 2. I pity it’s a wasted attempt. The movie felt like 3 hours with a lot of fat that could be cut down to a nice tight 90 minutes.

For example, there’s a soul train. There’s a huge dance number with 70’s era Afro blacks dancing in the terminal. Ha, I get it…but if it had just been the 70’s Afro black train conductor welcoming everyone on board the Soul Train, THAT would have been funnier. It was funnier. But by the time it happened, it was an overcooked gag in an undercooked movie.

Michael Keaton is the best thing in this. It should have just been him. No one else matters. In fact, everything else is a convoluted mess. There’s what looks like a good idea going where Lydia’s daughter gets caught up with a bad ghost and she finds herself tricked into swapping places with him in the afterlife (oh, spoiler) but give it some thought and that makes no sense.

Not About Beetlejuice

What’s worse, that’s something Beetlejuice should have done to someone. That could have been HIS plot. But no, instead Beetlejuice is now teaming up with Lydia to go get her daughter back. So two living people are in the afterlife like it’s the tunnels under Disneyland and Beetlejuice is a trustworthy agent. Something is seriously wrong here.

Michael Keaton said in an interview he was worried about one scene but Tim Burton encouraged him to do it. I know the scene now and I agree with Keaton. It’s an unnecessary scene and it kind of ruins the character of Beetlejuice. There’s a flashback with the original living Beetlejuice. It’s Michael Keaton with crazy hair. It’s wrong.

And THIS is a good example of what’s wrong. The father Charles Deets is dead, killed in a plane crash and eaten by a shark. Again, funny idea. And we see it in a flashback. Yes, creepy pervert Charles Deets is in this movie… actually, he’s in it quite a bit. But what’s funny is that when we first see him he’s Claymation and it’s balls out hilarious. And then the other times we see him he’s headless and gargles when he talks.

Again, it’s hilarious. But it’s also stupid. Either put him in the movie or don’t. And if you’re going to do a younger living Beetlejuice, why not stay in tune with this funny shit and do another Claymation flashback? These scenes are so close together that it boggles my mind they didn’t do it this way. Instead, it’s funny because it’s told in French with subtitles. Eesh.

Overall

Danny Elman has also let this down. Sure he can still make great music, and his re-working on some of the classic tunes are great and I’m looking forward to listening to the soundtrack. But the actual main theme is pretty ham-fisted and all over the place.

It’s like he’d forgotten how it went or maybe he was embarrassed by it and wanted to make it sound more grown up? The same difference between the main title for Batman and the main title for Batman Returns. It’s just played wrong. How could he forgot about the cheeky violin that was so prominent in the original. It’s just not here!

So everything sort of pissed me off. The script, the direction, the music, the makeup. Meh. It actually hurts me to say this, but 2 out of 5.

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