By 
Title: Plato’s Stepchildren
Airdate: 11/22/1968
Plot Summary
The Enterprise answer a distress call from a previously thought to be uninhabited planet. There they find the near immortal and powerful Plutonians. They have no advanced medical capabilities but are powerful telekinetics. Their leader has been injured with a minor scratch that got infected. McCoy is able to cure him and Parmen decides that they’ll just keep McCoy just in case. Obviously Kirk takes issue with this. But how to stop these smug people whose powers can destroy the Enterprise herself?
Risk Is Our Business
Kirk gets to pretend he’s a horse and is forced to be ridden by a dwarf. This has to be the most embarrassing episode for both Kirk and Shatner both. I don’t think it was great for Michael Dunn either.
Logical
Spock does get the laugh out loud line of show:
Philana: How old would you guess I am? Oh don’t worry, Captain I’m not vain. Go ahead and guess.
Spock: (answering before Kirk can): 35.
Philana: (taken aback): Oh. I stopped aging when I was 30.
The look on her face was priceless.
He’s Dead Jim
McCoy, or rather Kelly, fortunately is spared most of the nonsense as he just has to sit and watch his friends get tortured. As a character, you feel for Bones as he desperately wants it to stop. I found it interesting he held fast when Kirk was getting humiliated but when Spock is forced to start laughing and then crying, Bones really loses his shit and gives in. Aww Bones, you DO care.
Helm Sluggish Captain
Sulu is absent this time.
Nuclear Wessels
Nope, he gets to keep his dignity this time around.
Hailing Frequencies Open, Sugar
Uhura is pulled down to the planet for the Platonian’s amusement.
My Wee Bairns
So everything freezes up on the Enterprise and when Kirk calls to beam him up, Scotty says no can do. We got frozen framistats here. WTF. He acts like he just casually answers the phone like he would on any routine communication and then just then notifies Kirk that “oh yeah, the whole ship is broken. Let me get back to you.” Why he wasn’t immediately contacting Kirk when that happened is beyond me. Maybe it happened at that exact time but the way it plays out is baffling.
Canon Maker
Kironide can give you telekinesis. Seems like that would’ve been something useful to have in the future but alas, it’s never spoken of again.
I admit to not being very knowledgeable about Greek philosophy, having only read a little and most of that back in college. So this may be me talking out my ass. In my cursory understanding of Plato vs Aristotle, Plato seemed very much in line with a lot of leftist Rosseauian thought. A lot of elites who do the thinking for the stupid whereas Aristotle was much more in line with individual rights. In any case, if my reading is accurate (and it probably isn’t so someone in the comments can enlighten me), a group of super powerful telekinetics who followed the teachings of Plato’s Republic would probably act just the way these douchebags are acting.
Canon Breaker
The Platonians are well versed in ancient Greek myths and philosophy. But how? They are from a far away star that went nova and have been isolationists. How do they know about Earth’s past? Oh are we doing that whole “parallel world development” bullshit?
I understand they have a lot of telekinetic powers but how are they able to “see” what they need to in order to control the ship? And the fine control you would need to make someone speak or create the chemical imbalances to make Spock laugh or cry or sing just stretches credulity.
Man It Feels Bad To Be A Red Shirt
No one dies. But I bet some of them wish they did at some point here and there.
Technobabble
The hypospray must have some sort of replicator in it as I can’t figure out how Bones is able to inject the “ultra rare” kironide into the bloodstream without getting some first.
I Know That Guy:
Barbara Babcock returns in live action for a second time to play the villainous Philana. She looks as hot as she did in A Taste Of Armageddon.
Michael Dunn plays the diminutive Alexander with dignity. He was most known for playing Lovelace, the recurring villain on the old Wild Wild West show. Sadly he passed away only five years after the episode in 1973. His death was shrouded in mystery for a while, with speculation of suicide to a heart condition to alcoholism. To this day his cause of death is not without controversy.
Finally Liam Sullivan plays Parmen. He was a prolific guest actor in various shows and actually starred opposite Shatner in an episode of Gunsmoke back in 1966.
What It Means To Be Human – Review
This episode is fine as far as plot goes but execution borders on sadistic. And yes, I know, that’s the whole idea of this but it feels over the top and needless. While some of it is well thought out, forcing emotion on Spock for example, the rest feels just like an excuse to get Shatner to go through some sort of humiliation ritual. You can do this sort of thing without have to make your lead pretend he’s a horse and have a midget ride on his back. It felt like the producers and writers WERE Parven.
Still there are some bright spots. How Kirk, Spock, and Bones treated Alexander was awesome. Whether in 1968 or now, there was never any thought to his size and it was only brought up as a confirmation of the medical reason why Alexander couldn’t get the powers the rest had. Kirk saying it doesn’t matter what size, shape, or color you are works perfectly for me. It’s not beating you over the head with it. Indeed, Kirk is so used to so many different species that Alexander barely warrants a second glance and he’s almost surprised he has to explain this simple notion of physical traits meaning nothing in a world of merit.
The getting of the powers so easy really wrapped it up pretty quick. I wonder what happened with them. I did appreciate that Parmen, once he came up on someone bigger than him, so to speak, turned into Biff Tannen “just putting on the second coat now!” Bullies are quick to cave once they lose the upper hand and it was very realistic as well as Spock and Kirk were not believing one goddamn word out of his whore mouth.
Overall though it’s a bit of an ok story wrapped up in a cringe inducing execution that makes it hard to watch.
Cultural Impact
Ok let’s discuss the big moment in cultural history, the first on-screen interracial kiss.
Yes I know it wasn’t the first one. Tell me the first one without looking it up. If you can’t it’s because the actual first one had no cultural impact. This one did so it might have well been the first. In any case it was definitely the most important and relevant moment.
This should have never been celebrated at all. Not because it was the first interracial kiss on screen. Because the circumstances to create it as per the story was basically raping both characters. That’s right, this was a kiss borne in rape. Everyone talks about it so goddamn smugly never thinking that neither character wanted it and it was humiliating to both Kirk and Uhura.
Picture a seven year old Drunken Yoda (at that time I was only Tipsy Yoda) and I have zero knowledge, understanding, history, or caring of race politics. Uhura is a character on a show I love, the same as Kirk, Spock, Bones, and Chapel. I didn’t see her ANY differently than any of the others.
I remember clearly when I first saw this episode how I reacted to it. Chapel had a history with Spock, she was in love with him and always wished he could reciprocate. So when she was put in this situation with Spock, it was a big deal to little old me. Uhura was there because she was the only other girl on the ship and they needed one for Kirk too. It was obvious to me that she was the secondary person put into the situation because you had Kirk and Spock so you needed two for this to happen.
But the drama for me was all about Chapel and Spock, the lore the show had set up between them and how hard it was for her to have to deal with this. I never had the same emotional reaction to Uhura and Kirk as to poor Chapel and Spock.
But over the years everyone forgets about that now and it’s all about the interracial kiss. A kiss that was basically rape and wasn’t even thematically important in the overall lore of the show. If anything this now represents to me how we’ve prioritized race over things that are actually important and that was one thing this show was actually trying to preach against. Hell it was trying to do it in THIS VERY EPISODE!
I fucking hate hearing about it anymore. I feel like talking about it like it was SUCH A HUGE DEEPLY VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING is a complete misread of the moment, what the episode was about, and how it overlooks the actual emotional center of two other characters in that moment that now nobody even remembers.
So woo-hoo I guess. Breaking down of racial barriers and all that. Was this really the best way to do that? If you really look at this objectively? Yes I guess you had to start somewhere but even at the time the response against was just as surface level as the response in favor of it.
Now let’s hear no more about it and move the fuck on.
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