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Finally, a review we can all look forward to and agree on. The other day I did an LMO Movie Quiz on Nick Cage and Con Air ended up on my watchlist. I watched it again yesterday and by Jove, it’s a damn good action movie!
Con Air has a stellar cast, Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Colm Meaney, Ving Rhames, Rachal Ticotin, Danny Trejo, M. C. Gainey, Dave Chappelle, Monica Potter and Steve Busemi.
Simon West directs with Scott Rosenberg writing. Going through West’s catalogue, he’s directed the most-watched music video of all time, THIS ONE.
The Story
There will be spoilers about the story, but it’s from 1998. And, if you haven’t seen it, you should stop reading and go and do that now!
Newly paroled ex-con and former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe finds himself trapped in a prisoner-transport plane when the passengers seize control.
Cameron Poe leaves the army as an honourably discharged Army Ranger. He heads home to Mobile, Alabama to meet his pregnant wife, Trica (Potter). I did wonder how long he was away with her being pregnant. “I’ve been away for 6 years and got home and my girl is still pregnant!”
Some men at a bar hassle him and he kills one in self-defence. Poe ends up in jail, and when he’s paroled, 8 years later, he gets to fly home and meet his wife and kid. This is all over the opening credits.
Unfortunately for Poe, the plane is a prison transport and full of lots of other naughty scallywags. The main guy, Cyrus ‘The Virus’ Grissom (Malkovish) has planned an escape from the plane. Poe just wants to get home.
An Action Movie
Con Air is best described as an action movie, in every sense of the word. Here’s a checklist:
A male, tough-guy protagonist
A bald bad guy killer
Mullets that blow freely in the wind
A smart Alec agent trying to help them
A token black colleague that needs help
Kick ass soundtrack
Cheesy one liners
Very cute totty
The only thing missing from making this the perfect action movie was no female breasts. This though is forgivable as the rest of the Con Air is so damn good!
You like Poe from the outset, he’s a good man, just trying to get home. He’s facing impossible odds fighting against the rest of the criminals on the plane, but you are rooting for him every step of the way.
The Cast
As I said, Nick in being Nick, doing his best Elvis impersonation. You have Malkovich who is having a whale of a time being the bad guy. The rest of the players, again, are all having fun with their roles.
You have Cusack, who’s always a treat to watch. He’s playing off again Meany’s character and their chemistry is perfect. Meany is the brash agent who just wants to kick ass, with Cusack being cooler, calmer and far more intelligent about things.
I had forgotten that Buscemi was in this and I had forgotten he plays Garland Green. We meet him halfway through the movie, boarding the plane in a strap-up that would make Hannibal Lecter wince.
I love that he’s only got about half a dozen lines in the Con Air, but leaves a good impression. I’m going to say this though, it would have been funny if he killed the little girl. Although this would have turned the entire movie too dark.
The Script
You can’t have a good action movie without some memorable one-liners. Speaking of Buscemi, I love his line, when Sweet Home Alabama is playing on the plane:
Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
But the main line everyone remembers from Con Air is:
Put… the bunny… back… in the box.
Did you say it with the accent? You better have!
Reading up on the movie, I found that JJ Abrams tied some of the script in places.
Not so much about the script, but I have to mention LeAnn Rimes’ song, How Do I Live. She was only 14 when she performed it and it was nominated for an Oscar, and a Razzie. Sadly it didn’t win the Oscar.
Overall
Apart from the breast thing, Con Air is a perfect action movie from a different time. There are only about two women in it, which is why it’s probably so good. Am I right guys? Guys?
Action movies are about guns, planes, explosions and fights. All between big burly men, with huge muscles and long mullets. Con Air has this by the sack load.
Yes, there are some touchy-feely moments, but it’s OK because Poe is allowed that because he has a daughter. All men want to protect their daughters, so we will let it slide. It also lets us have the “Bunny in the box” line, which still makes us smile.
Con Air is a kiss-ass action flick that still stands up today. In fact, revisiting this movie has reminded me of what it means to be a man. I’m going to do some weights, grow a mullet and find a pair of denim jeans that fit my ass perfectly.
Now, everyone sing along: Sweet home Alabama, something something something, I’m coming home to you…
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