Captain Picard shouting “Shut up, Wesley” in the season 1 Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Datalore” has gone down in history as one of the most famous lines in the series. Now the hate for Wesley Crusher, played by Wil Wheaton, has always been overblown but even people who like Wesley have to admit, this line is hilarious.
But if things had gone a little differently in the history of Star Trek, Picard may have shouted “shut up, Wesley” for more than just speaking out of turn on the bridge. In fact, he might have gotten to actually say, “shut up about your dubs v. subs opinions, Wesley” because Wesley almost had a poster of anime girls in his quarters. Yes, an actual room on the Enterprise-D was almost adorned with an anime poster. Specifically of the characters Kei and Yuri from the ‘80s anime classic, Dirty Pair.
For those not in the know, Dirty Pair began as a series of light novels by Haruka Takachiho and later became an anime in 1985. The series follows Kei and Yuri, a pair of “trouble consultants” who go out into the galaxy dealing with various sci-fi problems. A delightful mix of comedy, science fiction, and action, Dirty Pair made its way out of Japan and into the hands of early anime fandom and one Rick Sternbach.
A production illustrator/designer for many of the entries in the Star Trek franchise, Sternbach and other members on his team often hid Dirty Pair references throughout Star Trek: The Next Generation. An element on the periodic table, glimpsed in TNG’s Rascals, is named “Keiyurium” after the anime’s lead characters. The wargame simulation exercise in “Peak Performance” was named “Operation Lovely Angel,” a reference to the title Kei and Yuri preferred to call themselves. Data, as part of his primary system modules, has a “Kei/Yuri submodule.”
These were fun little Easter Eggs that, in the years before the HD remasters of the series, were hard to spot. But if Rick Sternbach had gotten his way, you would have seen Kei and Yuri in a much bigger way. According to notes from the Bayon 90 convention, as archived by STNG-36el, Rick Sternbach revealed that he hung up a poster of Kei and Yuri in Wesley’s room, “complete with double stick tape.” However, supervising producer David Livingston took one look at the poster and reportedly said, “aww, c’mon. You’re kidding!!” And thus, the poster was removed.
Wil Wheaton not only confirmed this story was true (thankfully archived by the YouTuber Celeste is Best) but that he was, “totally on board.”
We were robbed! Wesley Crusher is a teen boy, of course he’d have a poster of some kickass anime women on his wall. His mom would totally be fine with that. It’d also directly confirm anime is still appreciated in the 24th century, even if only by niche fans like Wesley. Do you think he watches the sub or the dub? Perhaps by the 24th century there’s a holoprogram version of the Dirty Pair where Wesley gets to get in on the action.
This near miss of a huge Dirty Pair reference is a shame, since Dirty Pair itself had a few Star Trek references. The first episode of the anime in particular featured a computer screen that listed out the names of all the main actors from The Original Series.
There’s still a chance to make up for the sins of the past, Star Trek. Let a character have a Dirty Pair poster. It certainly wouldn’t be out of place in a series like Lower Decks that has no end of Star Trek deep cut references.
If you’re curious about Dirty Pair, the series is available to stream on Crunchyroll and you can legally watch the first episode for free on YouTube.
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