Review: REBEL MOON PART 2 – THE SCARGIVER

The title for Rebel Moon: Part 2 – The Scargiver is longer than the movie. No, wait, no it’s not, as Rebel Moon Part 2 feels longer as you lose the will to live while watching it. Yes, Rebel Moon Part 2 is on Netflix, so I drew the short straw to watch and review it, so you don’t have to.

You know the details, the movie stars Sofia Boutella, Ed Skrein, Djimon Hounsou, Michiel Huisman, Bae Doona, Ray Fisher, Anthony Hopkins and some other people. Zach Snyder has written and directed the movie and there’s your problem, Snyder wrote the story.

In Part 1, some villagers needed help to protect their grain from evil bad guys. Kora (Boutella) went off to find help with Gunnar (Huisman) and they found them. Atticus Noble is the bad guy who dies, but not really. I can’t tell you anymore as I only watched it once and I wasn’t going to watch it again.

The Story

Rebel Moon: Part 2 – The Scargiver has the final battle. This, however, is dragged out for 2 hours. I would love for someone to cut out the slow-mo of a Snyder movie and see how long they are. 20 minutes would be my guess.

Honestly, that’s the story for Part 2. Noble is back for his grain, the villagers are ready to fight against him and get trained up by the soldiers. There’s a mild plot about Kora being the one that started the whole thing, by killing a princess, but that doesn’t really matter.

There’s a lot of filler, slow-motion of people harvesting wheat and grain. Some music sounded like it was from Lord of the Rings. Everyone gets a cloth about how cool they are, and everyone has a bit of a back story. That’s it, the end.

I say that’s the end, there is a teaser in the last few minutes about how the princess that Kora killed may not be dead. Just like Noble didn’t die at the end of the first one. What’s the point of death if there is no actual consequence to it?

Snyder Fanboys

I imagine a lot of the Snyder fanboys probably cried at this movie as it’s clearly the new Star Wars. This is the new Disney Star Wars maybe, but it’s not the new “old” Star Wars. Honestly, I can’t ever see myself sitting down to watch this again, it’s just too long.

There isn’t any character development, apart from their little backstories, which are covered in about 10 minutes. The movie just builds to the end battle which, frankly, was laughable.

There is a Dreadnought ship, armed to the teeth with battle squadrons, laser canons, and enough firepower to destroy a planet. On the other side, is a bunch of farmers with a few guns and a plucky attitude. But guess who wins?

I get how Noble wanted to bring back Kora alive, but seriously, just bomb the village from space, pick up her remains, and job done. You’ll still get an “A Star” for her head on a pike.

Style Over Substance

Rebel Moon Part 2 is all about how it looks and sounds. There isn’t a single frame that looks real, even when actors are on a set. Everything has to have lens flair and overly CG’ed, so none of it works. The slow-mo is just annoying, especially in the fight sequences.

I couldn’t help but think of Dune Part Two, which I have seen about three times now. In Dune, every planet is real, every actor is somewhere in space, and you can almost feel every grain of sand. There’s no slow-mo, there’s no lens flare, Arakkas is a real place.

We all know that comparing Snyder to Villeneuve is like comparing a piece of banana peel you found in the bin to a prime steak. Villineuve is an artist, his attention to detail is amazing. And that’s not just about his visuals, but his work with the actors too.

Snyder tries to make his movies look like an oil painting, but they turn out like something you wouldn’t hang on the fridge, even if your kid drew it. On top of that, there are characters you just don’t care about.

Milius, for example, played by Elise Duffy. Talk about instantly forgettable. It honestly took me a few minutes to find what the character was called and who played her, or him, still not sure. And that’s another thing.

I’m all for female empowerment, but at what cost? Boutella is a stunning, attractive woman. Let’s give her a strong lead role, have her badass, tough, and strong…and make her look like a man as well. How do you make a strong female character? Take away all that makes her a woman apparently.

Overall

Rebel Moon Part 2 The Scargiver is a churned-out movie that you will watch once and then never return to. In the scene where Kora explains how she ended up on the run, there’s a perfectly good opportunity to kill her aggressor and end things. But no, we have to have our heroine prove she’s better than that. It just proves she’s an idiot.

Noble, the bad guy, is overacted like he’s in a pantomime, not to mention another idiot. Bomb the place from orbit and get the body? No, I’m going to go down there and have a conversation first. Speaking of this scene, there was a perfectly good opportunity for Gunnar to kill Noble, just after he shoots the bell, but no, that would end things too quickly.

There’s a dude in a laser gunfight with two axes and somehow survives. There are zero stakes as Noble comes back to life. There are two deaths of the “heroes” and one of them I did care about a bit, but the other I couldn’t care less about.

This movie is A Bug’s Life but, somehow, A Bug’s Life is more believable. And I know which one I would rather watch again.

Oh and if you think I didn’t mention the robot that was played by Hopkins, you’re right, I didn’t. Just like Snyder didn’t really do anything with him either.

Rebel Moon Part 2 The Scargiver is on Netflix now and a waste of everyone’s time. Have you seen it? What did you think? Am I being too harsh?

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